Insight
The words resonating within me these past few weeks are, “Slow down.” These two words were the mantra I intended to embody in 2021. Like so many good intentions, the mantra faded into the dark corner of my mind, but lately, they have returned and have a stickiness to them that I’m not ready to ignore.
When I think about how stressed I am with everything on the calendar for the family over the next few months, “slow down” seems to be the balm.
As I listen to the news and read about the rise of artificial intelligence, the words “slow down” seem to point toward a path forward.
The degradation of the environment? Slow down.
The march of consumerism? Slow down.
The violence we perpetrate against one another? Slow down.
Another connection forming in my mind is that if I slow down, I’ll see that things are not as tenuous as my brain makes them out to be. I admit I tend to catastrophize just about any situation. Through therapy, Zen practice, and insightful redirections from my wife, I’m learning that slowing down defuses my tendency to catastrophize.
For instance, just before a volunteer shift at the Hospice Home, I received notice that a new resident was arriving who was very ill with many unique care needs. I started to panic that I was not up to the task, that I would be overwhelmed, and underqualified, and the family members would be disappointed in my care provision. The family was going to call the head nurse and ask that I be sent away from the home.
As the time to leave for the shift drew near, I remembered to slow down. Slowing down helped me put things into context. We’ve had many residents with challenging conditions, and I’ve always been able to meet their needs. The residents’ families are always grateful for the care we provide - and impressed that we do so on a volunteer basis. Slowing down gave me the space to breathe and have some perspective. I didn’t go into the situation on edge and defensive, but humble and open to what might unfold.
This sense of slowing down has brought me back to Wendell Berry. In the introduction to “The World-Ending Fire: The Essential Wendell Berry”, written by Paul Kingsnorth, I read, “Wendell Berry’s formula for a good life and a good community is simple and pleasingly unoriginal. Slow down. Pay attention. Do good work. Love your neighbors. Love your place. Stay in your place. Settle for less, enjoy it more.”
It may not be a panacea for all our troubles - but slowing down might help resolve many of the challenges we currently face. Or, as my wife told me when I suggested this, “It might also help if we stop being jerks to each other.” Right. So if slowing down doesn’t help - try not to be a jerk.
Links:
“Everyone Comes Out from Nothingness” is a deep reflection on the hindrance of “ill-will.”
This a great review of “Cloud Cuckoo Land,” which I just finished and can’t say enough good things about.
A beautiful, brave experiment that makes me smile and wonder what I’m so scared of.
A bit of wisdom:
From the Enneagram Thought of the Day (you can subscribe here: https://subscriptions.enneagraminstitute.com/subscribers/create)
“The more we allow ourselves to feel the pain of our self-abandonment, the Essential qualities that we have been longing for begin to arise in us. The unfinished business of childhood begins to resolve itself in our psyches and our hearts begin to heal.”
Thank you for reading! I am grateful for your time.
-Anthony